(new) Hawaii Five-0 on CBS

We start with the death-throes of a murdered mermaid, bleeding out through her facial orifices, as the water turns red around her. Maybe time to send the kids to bed? Not an actual mermaid, though: an adult woman dressed as one at Oahu’s “premier mermaid experience”. Dear God, this is a thing. And apparently a thing which can set you back up to ten large for a tail. Danny wonders aloud whether that’s money which would-be mermaids should be spending on therapy instead. Tani, on the other hand – well, it’s on her bucket list.

Anyway, the deceased mermaid was Gwendoline Baker, a woman in her thirties who worked for a health and beauty company which goes in for “multi-level marketing”, i.e. pyramid selling. And, as she was nearly at the top of the pyramid, it follows that there are hundreds of people below her, all with thousands of dollars’ worth of unsold crap and a motive. But they’re not the only ones: there’s a husband she was about to divorce, and the CEO of the organisation is pretty sketchy as well.

Meantime, in what starts off as an irrelevant B-plot, Adam has finally made a friend who isn’t in the Yakuza: Hal (Bob Hiffermann) a homeless and deaf man, who became detached from his family when his drinking problem became too much. Adam makes it his business to reconnect Hal with his family; Hal is resistant, but Adam – remembering how much his friends helped him when he hit rock bottom – persists. The message seems to be that families come in all shapes and sizes.

The murder is solved. Hal makes his way home. Adam toasts his friends. And Junior fulfils Tani’s fantasy – or, at any rate, one of them – by signing her up for mermaid camp and buying her a tail. Are we going to see them couple up before the end of the season, I wonder? Hardly a demanding episode, but I liked it a lot.

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NEW Hawaii Five-0