(new) Hawaii Five-0 on CBS

It’s the season finale, for which Hawaii Five-0 likes to raise its game. Apart from some nonsense about the restaurant – to which we’ll come back – the action starts with a mysterious black shape looming into view just off the Honolulu beach. It’s quickly revealed to be a rogue Russian nuclear-powered submarine. Fantastic! In every sense of the word.

But what do they want? Steve, for one, is not willing to welcome his new Russian overlords, and after an (inadvertently comic?) interlude when he tries to communicate with the crew using semaphore, he commandeers a small boat and sails out to the submarine, demanding to speak to the Captain. As American warships surround the sub, and helicopters fly overhead, world peace rests on the appealingly broad shoulders of Commander McGarrett of the Five-0 Task Force.

Once on board, the officer in charge takes Steve to the captain; or, at any rate, the corpse of the Captain. There was, he is told, a mutiny on board, at the behest of submariners who wanted to defect to America. Although the uprising has been suppressed its leader, Petrov, waited until the submarine was close to Hawaii then escaped through a torpedo port and is now on Oahu. Grover’s response to being told this – “What?!” – is the only sensible one. But after the Russian consul is leveraged by Steve and Danny into providing a bit of information, the Petrov chase is on: he seems to be after a regular all-American couple who live on the island.

And at this point the show turns into The Americans, because the couple, who live as Lee and Nancy – someone’s research took them no further than well-known singing duos – are, in fact, GRU sleeper agents in deep cover. Or were GRU sleeper etc., because by the time the Five-0 gets to their house “Lee” and “Nancy” are very dead, having been tortured first; which presumably means that Petrov was after information on someone else. Where will this end? With a spectacular season-ender of a knockdown fight between Petrov and Steve, that’s where: they kick seven shades out of each other, occasionally making use of office equipment; then fall through a second-floor window onto a table and do it all over again. Wonderful.

Meantime, in return for $250,000 cash money stuffed into suitcases, Steve and Danny have taken on Kamekona and Flippa as partners in their restaurant. “I’m gonna go kill myself”, mutters Danny. Unsurprisingly, though, Kame knows more about the restaurant business than the two of them. Could they turn this money pit into a viable enterprise? Next season for that, presumably; and for further developments in respect of Adam, given that Tami has found the gun which killed his sister in his house. Assuming he’ll return. Hell, assuming any of them return: there’s no official word yet on contract renewals, but one would guess that certain undertakings were given before CBS decided to greenlight a ninth year. I thought this season was generally fine, if a little below the standard set by the unexpectedly excellent seventh. But the show coped well with the loss of two major characters and the integration of their replacements.


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