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I ka wa mua, I ka wa ma hope.” When Danny is shot while quarantined in the hospital with McGarrett, Tani and Junior, he’s left unconscious and clinging to life, imagining a future for everyone in Five-0.

Well, then. Sorry guys, you will have to deal with me attempting another review. Sam’s computer/internet issues remain unresolved at present and I can’t begin to tell you that I am going into withdrawal! Thankfully, we can still use WhatsApp or I would probably be more insane than I am.

This won’t be a normal review. Since storytelling seems to be the way to go these days, we will bring you a Christmas story, told in part by our Ghost-of-Christmas-Past-Present-and-Future. I hope you enjoy the tale.

Now, this is all tongue in cheek and downright silly. Please, if you take offense at poking fun at certain individuals, this story isn’t for you. I warn you, if this is you, just turn back now. We won’t hold it against you…

Still here? OK, let’s begin. Cokie

I hope it is clear as a day that the voice over – uhm – voice is no one other than AOL himself. Saying that, I’m angry at myself that we did not include the word ‘tremendously’. Well, you all know my addiction to this word. Now I hope you enjoy Cokie’s and my joint venture tremendously. And if you can’t enjoy it tremendously, just leave with a ladylike contenance. Oh, and Alex: Can you please voice over the introduction too? Even if it’s not italian, there are the words tremendously (4 times now) and contenance in it. Thank you. leiCa

We open and our team is still stuck in quarantine at the hospital. Steve is going stir crazy and gets hold of some clippers. Why, Show? Although he looked like he was enjoying himself, so let him have his fun. It’s hair… it will grow. Now, here’s a question for you. They are quarantined, behind layers of plastic and glass and all sorts of rules and regs for getting into the place. Are we expected to believe that there is NO ONE on that floor with them? In case of emergency, they could only rely on their (broken) cell phones to call for help? Really? I’m not buying it, but that is called Plot and I tend to overlook Plot in these stories.

And so, our tale begins… cue the voice over…

A Christmas Tale

Once upon a time there was a Grinch. He was playing cards with some colleagues and was only able to do so because he had survived a deadly bio weapon attack some days ago.

Grinch Williams had survived because Santa had saved his life (again) regardless of his own health while Grinch had been napping on the couch. So now he was playing cards with his Grinch-face while Santa McGarrett was in the bathroom shaving his head with his adorable-face. Because it would be low maintenance this way, but first and foremost it looked hot af. Santa was very pleased with the outcome and next went to Grinch Williams to shave his head too, which would be no problem and a very short undertaking. And it would save the Grinch lots and lots of money he spent on all kind of hair-products, like the very strong hair lacquer he used to hold the comb over strands in place.

But Grinch did not want a buzz cut and insulted Santa while wearing his Grinch-face.And of course he knew he and his buzz cut would be no competition to Santa McGarrett and he couldn’t have that. Because he always had to be better, smarter, wiser.

Although he never was.

Santa made his little smile-face and no longer bothered because he did not want even more added stress. Santa just knew who had been worried about Mother Nature doing her thing with the hair.

After a little while a bad man came in and wanted Grinch Williams to recognize him. Of course he didn’t because he never recognized things he had messed up. He just reacted with his typical Grinch-face. So the bad man just shot him.

End of story.

And there is our opening. Who was this man? How did he know where they were in the hospital and how did he know what to bring to blow the place down if they tried to get out of their quarantine? Man was sweating and sickly looking. Was he already dying? Because of something D did? Who knows? Will we ever know? Did he actually know D? Was D lying when he said he didn’t know him? Hmm… all these questions. All this plot. Will it ever get answered? I guess we have to stay tuned to learn all about this scintillating story. <That was sarcasm… I wish Santa would bring me a sarcasm font><And I learned the word scintillating>

Now, back to our tale…

So the bad man just shot him.

End of story.

No.

Grinch Williams bled and luckily he wore a white shirt so that we all could see it. Santa McGarrett was shocked and horrified and his face of utter dismay made me feel the horror too, although I did not care for the Grinch one bit.

Santa McGarrett fought for Grinch’s life again with determined-face, while Grinch Williams was napping again and hallucinating his future. His face could not be seen because of an oxygen mask. Oxygen mask-face was a breath of fresh air. Literally and metaphorically.

Santa had a not so little helper, the wonderful Elf Grover. Elf Grover and his tenacity made the tension palpable too.

Thank God Santa had shaved his head so now we could differentiate between real-Santa with the buzz cut and hallucinated unreal-Santa with his longer hair. That was a pretty good idea because otherwise we would have been totally clueless…

Obviously Grinch thought his dreams would be Santa’s dreams too, which is weird because he has known Santa for several years now. Sadly there was no Alicia in his hallucinations, because she could have told him something about ‘projection’ and identity.

We see the future through Grinch’s eyes and are taken to a restaurant scene. We can only assume this is “Steve’s Restaurant” which was a hustling, bustling place. It was good to see that the Grinch was aware that it had to be Santa’s job to deal with their patrons. They didn’t want to frighten off their guests. This kind of self-awareness was uncommon for the Grinch who always liked to be front and center of everything.

So Santa McGarrett looked after the patrons with charming-face and voice whereas Grinch Williams couldn’t scare them with his Grinch-face and voice because he stumbled around in the kitchen tasting unsuspecting patrons’ food off their plates.<Do they really do that? Taste food from the plate? Ick.><I hope it was test-food>

Then Santa came into the kitchen and he and Grinch watched the news on TV and Santa quite frankly told him with a shrug-face that the Grinch was actually dead.

Grinch is so shocked that he chose to wear – his Grinch-face.

End of story.

We have our first hallucination. Now, I am NOT a proponent of Steve and Danny having a restaurant, but this was a good scene. Steve knows how to work a crowd. He seemed to actually be enjoying himself in all the busy-ness. And he was good to his clientele. He knew them and he knew what they liked. Apparently, business is booming. But when we visit the kitchen, we learn through a news story that an officer has been shot and killed.

And we are brought back to the present… still in quarantine.

We still have a bomb on the door, so Tani is given the task to get someone up there. I thought flooding the bathroom was a pretty good idea; one I doubt I would have thought of.<Well, I doubt I would be that strong to rip off those tubes, but I am no 5-0 Wonderwoman> Help finally comes and we have a scene of Steve giving orders to the nurse on the other side of the door. Clear and concise. He knew what they needed and he wanted it NOW.

Danny is starting to hallucinate due to blood loss and he is talking about his kids. First up is Grace’s wedding to Will. If I had been Grace, I would have suggested to my husband-to-be that his father get rid of that wooly-worm on his upper lip prior to my wedding. But that’s just me.

I noted a couple of things. The wedding that Danny is paying so much money for is actually in Steve’s back yard. I’m going to guess that Steve didn’t charge him a rental fee, so he didn’t have to pay for a venue. Catering surely would be done by the restaurant, so that would have been wholesale. I guess that wedding dress must have cost an arm and a leg because I’m not seeing a whole lot that he had to pay a fortune for.

The other thing I noted is that Steve never did redecorate…<I am still mourning the loss of cock-a-doodle-doo paperholder from S1>

Grover arrives with the bomb squad and they learn they can’t get the bomb off the door before D bleeds out. A nice doctor is there walking Steve through medical procedures and Steve sticks his finger into Danny’s chest, thereby saving his life. I’m totally with Steve. Any guilt trip D wants to use with McLiver has been paid in full. Signed, SEALed and delivered.

Back to hallucinations. Danny sees Charlie at his police academy graduation. I’m glad that Duke is still around to give the speech to the new class. Again, Steve and Danny in the audience bickering. Of course Steve is Charlie’s role model. No doubt about that.

We see out-of-place PDA between Tani and Junior’s Afro. I’m sorry, but she is Flirty McFlirterson and has been since she laid eyes on Junior. I just don’t see any attraction between them and this look into what D sees as their future is just weird. Not to mention very out of place when the new head of Five-0 is on the front row of academy graduation kissing her subordinate/boyfriend/husband… whatever they were.

But I had to keep reminding myself that was all made up in D’s head. And in his head, he is still having these cutsie conversations with Steve.

Reality again… bomb squad plans to blow a huge hole in the wall and get them all out. Grover tells Steve what they are going to do. He tells them “no arguing” and I love that Steve listened to what Grover had to say, then quickly put a plan into action, getting his team to safety. No arguing, no questions asked, no second guessing how things are going to be done. This is the way a team works. My favorite team.

Well, Grover is a bit miffed at this hole that appeared from the super-dooper bomb squad, so he takes it upon himself to hack his way into the space. Good for Grover. His team comes first!

Danny is whisked away to surgery and Steve and team are made to wait in quarantine. Which is a bit of overkill now with a Grover-sized hole in the wall and a bomb still on the door.

And we go back to our story…

Then Santa came into the kitchen and he and Grinch watched the news on TV and Santa quite frankly told him with a shrug-face that the Grinch was actually dead.

Grinch is so shocked that he chose to wear – his Grinch-face.

End of story.

No.

Obviously Grinch Williams knew that in his life just Santa McGarrett would stay as a friend. Because he is Santa and is the only one willing to endure the Grinch’s offensive, rude and mean behavior.

Funny thing that the Grinch thought Santa McGarrett would wear slacks as an old man.

Funny thing that the Grinch thought Santa McGarrett would smoke a pipe as an old man.

Really funny thing that the Grinch thought he would still have hair when he grew older.

Funny thing that the Grinch thought Santa McGarrett would be happy about translucent smartphones and not working the case with Captain Tani and Whatever Junior but about spaghetti and meatballs.

Synopsis:

The bullet didn’t win.

Santa McGarrett saved his life again.

The Grinch was nasty.

The Grinch didn’t say thank you. That’s no problem in a real friendship. Unless, of course you are not claiming it from everybody else.

This Grinch never got that friendship is like Christmas. It means a little bit more. Just his lung grew several sizes that day… his heart remained the same.

This Grinch was only a freak with a red nose.

Stink – Stank – Stunk.

And there’s the gist of the story. We cut to our team finally making it to the surgery waiting room where everyone is consoling Eric. Personally, that scene seemed quite phony. I didn’t buy Eric’s angst… sorry.

In surgery, we get our last hallucination. OK, seeing Steve made up as an older person wasn’t so bad. He looked decent. What bothered me is that apparently, Danny projects that he and Steve will be living together when they are 80. It is refreshing to note that neither gets killed in the line of duty, but Danny can’t live on his own? Really? Steve is taking his phone messages? I guess because D sleeps and snores the day away. Either Grace or Charlie gave him a granddaughter named Clara who is going to the police academy. Maybe he should go live with his family members. And maybe he should envision his future with much less hair.

We learn that, no, the bullet didn’t win. D gets to live to celebrate another Christmas. The doctor comes out and tells them the good news and we cut to a scene when Danny is in his hospital bed with all his friends around. He grouses that Steve’s unwashed finger was inside his own chest cavity and doesn’t give one thought to a “thank you”. Why am I not surprised?

As the show ended, we got to see a cute little bobble-head Steve wishing us a Merry Christmas.<I didn’t see bobble-head Steve! Sniffle>I hope Santa gives me my own bobble-head Steve in my stocking… he was cute!

Coming next:

What the Grinch really thinks about Christmas.

What the Grinch really thinks about friendship.

What the Grinch really does to appreciate his friends.

How the Grinch scares little children.

Stay tuned…

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